I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
