yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
