I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
