how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
