Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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