There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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