okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
