he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
