So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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