But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
