Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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