Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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