guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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