dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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