I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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