How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
