He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
should my penis look like a turkey
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
