Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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