so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
