It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
