I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
