So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
