I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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