I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
now i know why i became what i already was.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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