I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
