you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
