brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
