Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
