Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
