you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
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I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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