everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
