my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
