if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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