WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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