I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
