i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize