she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize