i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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