I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
