i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
