Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
