I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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