You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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