You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
