Can i not drive my cunt home
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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