Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
