im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
bring money and cleavage
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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