he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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