It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
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he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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