The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
