Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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