Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
