I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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