I'm lost and stupid without you.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
