My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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