after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
