So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
There are leaves in my underwear?
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